First Gear? There Is A First Gear?

To explain being out in a dirt clod field all alone for a whole Spring day, I would have to start with deer. The deer that a person sees when they are driving a tractor are something that ardent hunters only dream about. In the early morning mist, with the smell of grease on your hands, a barely warm cup of what is left of your coffee in hand, and the first country hits of the day playing in the speakers overhead while your kidneys are jostled awake by the plow marks you are crossing, the deer are truly the best part of the day. They are usually eating grass in the CRP fields that boarder your own, seemingly oblivious to even the thought that anyone, or anything else, might disturb them. Once you crest the hill, lifting your coffee cup high to be sure not to spill the precious amount left, they lift their heads, still chewing their cud, and stare at you as you deadhead toward them. And, shockingly, they never stop chewing, they never stop watching you, and they never leave. It’s like something to do with the color red, instead of hunter orange, coming over the hill lets them know straight away that they are safe. That was the best part of my day. The worst: well, where to begin. First, as all of you know, I have not been out to the field for over a week. Here on the Palouse, it has rained, hailed, and rained some more. So much so that farmers were actually laughing instead of scowling, leaving the rest of us to want the run for cover even after the torrents eased up. During the delay, the Boss thought that we should use the time wisely and Amy-proof the tractor and the harrow. This was done in a kind way of course. It was like a gift, right? But, I knew what it meant: she’s a danger. Not only to herself, but to the equipment. I tried not to be insulted! No seriously, I was thankful, because today I went out there with a new harrow and a new cable to pull the harrow with. I looked fancy! I was so excited to get going and finish the field in record time, there by securing my unpaid employment on the farm. There were only two problems; one, the field was WAY wetter, more more wet, (Is wetter even a word??) than it had been before increasing my chances of getting stuck, and two, I couldn’t find the mark where I left off harrowing the week before. With every minute of time precious this Spring, I decided to go around the outside of the field to find it. I went once, twice, and then finally, I just had to take a stab at it and go. I went that way for a while, happy to be helping. Happy to be making progress. I avoided almost all of the plowed ground, even though that is what needed harrowing the most. For those of you who have not harrowed, let the expert tell you why you do this. (Yeah, right!) Harrowing is basically pulling lines of spikes over the ground that was plowed, or chiseled, last fall, in a crossways direction, in order to smooth it out for the next tractor to fertilize. My field had chiseled ground on the hilltops and plowed ground in the valley’s. Now, due to the rain, plowed ground was a major problem in the field I was working today. Picture what happens to a plowed garden after a series of torrential rainfalls. That is what we in the business call muck! I did my best to avoid muck – even though it needed harrowing really bad. Today, I was going for quantity, not quality, and frankly, it showed. I just wanted it done! To do this, I had to cross-harrow a hill top which consisted of crossing over the top, turning around at the base (or valley),driving back up, and cresting back down the other side. In doing this, I had to pull a monster-hill, which the Boss, and another helper, assured me was safe – and that the tractor would not stall. Well guess what? It stalled, going up the hill! Causing the tractor to free-wheel backward right into the new Amy-proof plow! (FYI: I was informed by a reader that it seemed a little confusing to them that I backed over a plow while harrowing. He said he was a critic and a novice and therefore that might have been why he was confused. Well, it felt like a plow! It dug in and held my in place on that ever-loving hillside like a plow would!) I call the Boss panicking until he kindly tells me to shut up! And listen, and thankfully after all of his years of experience he guides me through the process of starting it again and gunning it up to the top of that hill with instructions NOT to cross-harrow UP a hill. Cross-harrow across a hill. I texted my girlfriend with shaky hands and she said, Well, now you’ve crossed that off your list. Get going again! But that was not the worst of my day. I get going, as instructed, still shaking, straight down the other side and right into the plowed ground I was trying to avoid. I feel it lugging before I can even do anything to change it. I remember the boss saying that if you feel it getting sucked down, turn the wheel and head for higher ground, which I did. That only caused me to get a jack-knifed tractor stuck deeper in the field. Two hours later, and many miles of pacing up and down our road mentally abusing myself for my stupidity when the guys from the local fertilizer company brought a tractor out to pull me out. They were laughing, probably enjoying pulling the blonde newbie-chick out of the mud, and one of the guys said to me: “You know what we say about tractor drivers, right?” “No?” I said. “There are two kinds of tractor drivers. Those who have been stuck and those who are going to get stuck. Welcome to the club!” That made me feel so much better that after I finished, I delivered two cases of beer to the fertilizer company! Thanks guys for not making me feel like a dumb blonde! P.S. And thanks for showing me how to put it in first gear! Addendum: Just thought you all would like to know that I have been removed from harrowing for a while and placed on something "easier." Hmmm? Wonder why?