After getting Brett up at 430 and sending him out the door, I start collecting more laundry and dishes. At 630 AM I haul them to Dick’s and take a long hot shower. It feels amazing and I am almost on the verge of tears when I have to shut it off and get out. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to go through the next five days, and sadly I know me. I know my temperament. It’s not the best on a normal day with kids nagging at me, schedules being altered for parts runs and pig runs, and kids needs. I like structure. I like to make a list every morning and I am not in a good mood unless three quarters of that list is done by the time I crawl into bed. I used to be foul if anything on the list got skipped, and it took years to force myself to be happy with only a fraction of that. Now, there is no way I will get anything done and I know that I am the one person who has to keep it together. As one of my old bosses told me, “ If Amy has a good day, then everyone has a good day. If Amy has a bad day, well then everyone has a bad day.” I thought at the time that that gives one person too much credit, but I learned over the years that it is true. There is just something about my aura that bounces off others like radio waves, so if I want my husband to keep harvesting with the same attitude that he has tried to hard to maintain this year, I have to keep it together.
I play phone tag all day with the pump guys until I finally nail them down for a time. We have to survive on the generosity of our family until Monday at 1:00 PM. I take a deep breath and swallow the internal scream that is trying to build. Therefore, instead of screaming with the kids around, I make a list of everything we will need to survive hour by hour until that time. Then, I drive to the store – alone so that I can vent in the car – and buy bottled water, paper plates, paper cups, and beer.
Wave’s mom, husband, and Wave’s sisters, bless their hearts, have decided to take all of the kids for the day and go to the lake. They too are my hero’s – as always! After they are delivered, minus Brett who is too old to go frolicking at the lake when he could be texting his girlfriend – I give up on my lists and sneak a ride and a beer in with Wave. Tears are close when I see him, but I hold them back. I don’t cry. There is no point in wasting tears on something you cannot change anyway. Instead we have a beer and a couple laughs.
Our neighbor’s grain truck burned up in a fire this afternoon and another loses a header in the middle of the road, so I guess I can’t bitch too much. We are having a great harvest, the kids are trying their hardest to be good as gold, and our family is taking time out of their lives to help us. While I am out with Wave we have a small smoldering fire in our combine. I hold my breath preparing for two of the three bad omens that are destined to come our way, but the guys handle it and get is out before there is a problem.
I return home to take Brett to wash pigs. It takes a whole bag of marshmallows and we are covered in pig poop when it is over, but we got ‘er done! My mom says I’m a real farm hand now. I tell her I just want their hams to taste good! Then we head to Grandma’s to shower, minus all of the normal kids in toe. My mom and my aunt are there and we get to sit and visit for a long while. That was exactly what I needed! Then, we return home to wrap Summer’s birthday present and forage around in the fridge to prepare something for Wave for dinner. My big plan of making home cooked meals every night is out the door, so I walk to the summer list and cross that one off for good.
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